LETTING MYSELF TRUST

Here I am allowing grudges and hurts from the past to control the relationships I have today.  What stops me?  Doubt, suspicion, fear of being lied to, manipulated, or abandoned, although I admit there is no evidence to indict the person in front of me right now.  I still find myself holding back and unable to relax and trust.  I acknowledge that damage has occurred, however, I refuse to be limited by my past.

Today I will remind the younger part of me that I do have a choice about who I allow into my inner circle.  I have a right to be treated with respect and can say yes or no and set boundaries.  I am no longer the naïve younger person I once was.  Over the years, I have learned to choose more wisely and recognize signs of trouble.  I have found my voice and am able to express what needs to be said.  I am safe now and can trust myself and those I choose to love.

 

RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS

As I move through this day I want to pass on the little things that mean so much to me, warm my heart, and often make my day.  A smile at a person on the street, holding a door for a stranger, letting someone else pull out before me in a parking lot or go ahead of me at the store check-out, an unexpected email note that is supportive, an invitation to get coffee or lunch, giving someone that extra change they need at the cash register, an offer to help carry something; these kind, little gestures warm my heart and remind me that I am seen and valued.    Frequently, I become busy and overwhelmed with daily stress and can develop an egotistical, self-centered view of life that is filled with a me first, my needs are more important than yours kind of attitude.  I hardly notice what's going on around me.

Today I choose to broaden my vision so that it isn’t just about me and it also isn’t just about you, but rather a mutual sharing of respect, appreciation, and consideration for myself and others.  I will play it forward and make someone's day. Amazing how contagious kindness is and how much I receive when I give. 

SAYING HELLO TO NOW

Opening myself to new possibilities can be difficult when I still have unresolved losses or incomplete endings.   Old grudges, resentment, long-standing hurt, lost friendships, grief can stand in the way of receiving and accepting new gifts.  Change brings with it the challenge of letting go and saying goodbye.  Sometimes this opportunity is ripped away from me by others and other times I choose to walk away out of anger, fear, or hurt.  Regardless, I want to make peace with the past so that I can be available and open my heart to the present. 

Today I will acknowledge my unexpressed emotion, say what needs to be said, grieve what might have been, forgive and ask for forgiveness, and release these old memories.  I am a resilient, determined, kind person who deserves to be loved.  It is safe to open my heart to embrace new experiences and take delight in the gifts of now.

GIVING WITHOUT RECEIVING

It is time to retire from being responsible for others’ happiness.  I have a habit of allowing my need to please other people and my fear of abandonment to influence the decisions I make.   Often, I end up doing things I really don’t want to do.  It is one thing to be cooperative and helpful, but quite another to extend assistance that harms me, comes from a place of ‘what will people think…’, or isn’t really appreciated, wanted or is repeatedly rejected.  If saying yes to you means I’m saying no to me, then a change is needed. 

Today, I will reassure myself that you are responsible for your own life satisfaction and release my need to control or manage your life.  I will give myself permission to set emotional boundaries and recognize that doing so does not make me selfish or narcissistic.  I have a right to set limits and  I deserve respect. I will not allow my fear of being rejected by you cause me to reject myself.  I have a right to say no.

DARE TO BE ADEQUATE

There are days when I get so tired of being strong.  I forget that I no longer have to avoid my vulnerability and I fail to remember that it’s okay to take chances and risk failure.  I struggled for so many years believing that I would only be accepted and loved if I was mistake free.  Of course, flawlessness was impossible so I ended up berating myself and being afraid to let others see my weakness.   Now I know that I can be myself and it is good enough.  My errors are very helpful, I usually learn more from them than my successes.   I put forth my best effort and if others aren’t happy with the results, I refuse to internalize or take responsibility for their displeasure.   

Today, I will breathe, relax and let go of unachievable standards.  If I need help, I will ask for it without shame.  I release myself from measuring outcomes and trust my efforts are enough.  I will allow others to be accountable for their own happiness and no longer assume it is my job.   I can dare to be adequate.

ABUNDANCE FLOWS

Abundance seems to multiply as I share what I have, what I know, and who I am.  I learned when I was younger to hold on to things because often it seemed there was a scarcity of food, money, safety, love, or whatever I needed.  Survival depended upon keeping secrets, holding in the truth, and grabbing what you could get when you had a chance.   Sharing and generosity were out of the question.  It felt as though only the strongest, most resilient, and quickest endured. 

Today, I no longer have to grasp for what I need.  I have come to understand that it is safe to let go and I have experienced the universe as a kind and caring place to be.  As I release grudges and skeletons in my closet, compassion and forgiveness expand my heart.  As I surrender the fear of not having enough or being enough and stop holding on so tightly to what I possess, I discover an unlimited abundance that flows and emerges mysteriously.  As I share what I have and know with others, I find a treasure chest of rich supply.  I have learned there is more than enough to go around for all of us.

FRIENDS

Friends bring me solace and comfort when I am down. They remind me that I am loveable and that it’s safe to open my heart to receive when I feel alone.  They challenge me to accept parts of myself I would easily reject.  They teach me the power of forgiveness and show belief in my ability to change when I don’t believe in myself.  Friends give me space when I need space and patiently beckon me out of my shell when I isolate.  Friends embrace, confront, understand, tease, remember, support, trust, respect, laugh, encourage, motivate, share, risk, explore, dance, and loyally stand by me.

Today, I will bless and have gratitude for the ways in which friends have enriched my life.  I will reach out and endeavor to bring to others what has so generously been given to me.