Misunderstanding Happens

Misunderstandings happen, despite the best intentions.  It’s a part of every relationship.  I know this is true; however, it can be very tempting to fold up my cards and declare it all a waste of time as I slink away to nurse my wounded pride.  I hear myself rationalizing:  ‘just the wrong person’; ‘if he/she really cared they’d get it’, ‘maybe next time’, etc.  It can also be easy to completely avoid conflict and pretend as if nothing is wrong by telling myself:  ‘well it really doesn’t matter’ or ‘it’s not that important’.  And yet every time I swallow the hurt, I let it fester inside until finally it comes gushing out usually in an over-reaction to something relatively minor.  Then, both of us end up confused and upset.  Who really loses out here, I do.  I lose out on friendships, deeper connection, and the sweetness of growing intimacy because of my fear and inability to negotiate conflict successfully.  I am tired of lost opportunities.

 

Today, I will express myself honestly and speak up about what is important to me.  I will listen to your input and clarify intention when needed.  I will let you know how what you say and do affects me and I will listen to how I impact you.  I choose to trust that you and I can move beyond what separates us to a new and more meaningful understanding and closeness. 

The Gift of Feelings

My feelings can be difficult to manage when they are very intense.  They intrude on my reason and encourage impulsive behavior that isn’t always in my own or others’ best interests.  When I become frightened and minimize, avoid, discount, or deny them, they find different ways to get my attention.  I find myself suddenly experiencing stomach, headaches, and a compromised immune system.  Feelings are energy after all and that energy has to go somewhere.  Often I sabotage my best intentions and am perceived as coming across to others in ways that surprise me.  Defending against my emotions hasn’t worked very well for me.  Learning ways to recognize and regulate them has been so much more effective.  I have learned that my feelings let me know when my needs aren’t being met. 

Today, I will embrace my emotions and invite them to serve me as they were intended to do.  I will acknowledge the thoughts that produce them and recognize the needs I have.  I will reach out for support if my feelings overwhelm me.  My emotions are a gift that I wish to welcome more fully into my life.

Values Check

Do I really live out my values?  Some days I wonder.  What do I make a priority?  If I look at my calendar I question if how I spend my time and energy would reflect my priorities.  If I examined my checkbook and how I spend the resources that are available, would it reflect my values?  Of course these are not the only ways to explore how I live my values, but it is interesting to think about a complete stranger looking at my calendar and checkbook and making assumptions about the kind of person I am from those sources of information. 

 

I want to have a more conscious awareness of how I choose the things I decide to occupy my time and money.  These are gifts that I am given to use wisely and I want them to reflect the values I hold.  I will let go of past choices that haunt, taunt and scare me.  I will forgive myself and move on.  Today I have the opportunity to make new choices and I am up for the challenge.

 

Consistency

Consistency sometimes eludes my grasp.  Either I get bored, distracted, excited about something else, discouraged, or just give up.  I have left a long line of unfinished projects and unmet goals behind me. 

Today, I choose to focus on follow through.  I would like to be seen as a person who is reliable, dependable, and trustworthy.  I will stand still, breathe, and remind myself of my goal as I am tempted to abandon plans and make excuses for inaction.  I am determined to stay my course and move forward with integrity and purpose.

Accepting What Comes

Life unfolds in such curious, unexpected and surprising ways.  Oftentimes, the change I desire occurs but sometimes unwanted things also happen.  When the hard stuff shows up, it can be difficult to recall the wonderful moments.  I can become so overwhelmed in fighting against what I don’t want that I make myself absolutely miserable.

 

Today, I don’t want to hold on too tightly to any preconceived plan.   Life is sending me the experiences I need to grow, stretch, and learn love.  I detach from control and needing things to be on my terms only.  I resolve to face this day with an open heart of acceptance.

One Thing At A Time

My mind can become overwhelmed with a variety of projects and situations.  The need for action seems to scream out at me and then I don’t know where to start first.  Today I will slow down, breathe, and take my time.  There is no need to move into crisis mode and exhaust myself with anxiety.  I see the options clearer if I refuse to impulsively rush forward. 

Smile, breathe and go slowly.  One thing at a time is my motto for now.

Standing Strong

There are moments when I want to shrink away from relationships and situations that challenge me or hold out potential pain.  It would be easy to hide out with superficiality or cut off connection to avoid the tough stuff that threatens me.  However, I then miss out on the gift the universe is extending to me.  Every challenge I have faced so far has brought with it an invaluable lesson or preciousness of experience that touches my heart deeply.  Often it takes time and perspective to understand and appreciate it.  But it always comes eventually.

 

Today I draw upon the courage within me to step into the unknown and remain open to potential struggle.  I will not run away or shirk.  I will stand with bold compassion and kind heartedness towards myself and others.  I trust that the strength and wisdom I require will flow.  I choose to allow this day to be another handprint on my heart.