Misunderstandings happen, despite the best intentions. It’s a part of every relationship. I know this is true; however, it can be very
tempting to fold up my cards and declare it all a waste of time as I slink away
to nurse my wounded pride. I hear myself
rationalizing: ‘just the wrong person’;
‘if he/she really cared they’d get it’, ‘maybe next time’, etc. It can also be easy to completely avoid
conflict and pretend as if nothing is wrong by telling myself: ‘well it really doesn’t matter’ or ‘it’s not
that important’. And yet every time I swallow
the hurt, I let it fester inside until finally it comes gushing out usually in
an over-reaction to something relatively minor.
Then, both of us end up confused and upset. Who really loses out here, I do. I lose out on friendships, deeper connection,
and the sweetness of growing intimacy because of my fear and inability to
negotiate conflict successfully. I am
tired of lost opportunities.
Today, I will express myself honestly and speak up about
what is important to me. I will listen
to your input and clarify intention when needed. I will let you know how what you say and do
affects me and I will listen to how I impact you. I choose to trust that you and I can move
beyond what separates us to a new and more meaningful understanding and
closeness.
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