Thursday, January 16, 2014

Misunderstanding Happens


Misunderstandings happen, despite the best intentions.  It’s a part of every relationship.  I know this is true; however, it can be very tempting to fold up my cards and declare it all a waste of time as I slink away to nurse my wounded pride.  I hear myself rationalizing:  ‘just the wrong person’; ‘if he/she really cared they’d get it’, ‘maybe next time’, etc.  It can also be easy to completely avoid conflict and pretend as if nothing is wrong by telling myself:  ‘well it really doesn’t matter’ or ‘it’s not that important’.  And yet every time I swallow the hurt, I let it fester inside until finally it comes gushing out usually in an over-reaction to something relatively minor.  Then, both of us end up confused and upset.  Who really loses out here, I do.  I lose out on friendships, deeper connection, and the sweetness of growing intimacy because of my fear and inability to negotiate conflict successfully.  I am tired of lost opportunities.

 

Today, I will express myself honestly and speak up about what is important to me.  I will listen to your input and clarify intention when needed.  I will let you know how what you say and do affects me and I will listen to how I impact you.  I choose to trust that you and I can move beyond what separates us to a new and more meaningful understanding and closeness. 


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