Being ME can be difficult when I’m frightened. There are many camouflages I find myself using
to handle my scare. Sometimes, I shrink
down in size and blend in so I don’t stand out.
At other times, I become bigger than I feel and over-exaggerate who I am
in order to impress and get others to back off.
Occasionally, I will become confrontational and argumentative to defend
myself. I also can try to paint myself
as pitiful and uncomprehending to avoid taking accountability. Once in a while, I become very helpful and
rush around trying to fix everything to keep peace at all costs. These behaviors take so much energy and tire
me out. They also prevent others from
really knowing me and sometimes even alienate me from my own awareness of
self.
Today, I will recognize when I am using any of these
behaviors. I will take time to explore
what I feel and need. I will choose to
affirm, comfort, or nurture myself with reassurance of my enough-ness. It is safe to be ME, I can abandon my
defenses and connect with others as the authentic person I am. If I notice you using these behaviors, I
will release my judgments and recognize how scary it is to just be real. I will reach out my hand in friendship and
hope to meet you, being you, in the middle.
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