SEEKING PEACE

It is very sad to think about the ways in which humans strike out and destroy life.  Events occur, words are spoken, misunderstandings happen, judgments are made, anger and resentment are flamed into firestorms, pain is inflicted; it is certainly discouraging and heartbreaking.  Today I choose to examine the judgments I make about the actions and words of myself and others.  Rather than holding on to old hurts and bitterness, I am convicted to move towards forgiveness and reconciliation.  Instead of treating myself with contempt and belittlement I will nurture self-acceptance and open-mindedness within so I can pass it on to others.  I intend to foster kindness and respect in my interactions and seek to build up connection and compassion.  I refuse to be pulled into others’ chaos and drama, however, will invite them into my peace.

I AM ALIVE

Facing today I am alive.  My body breathes as my lungs fill up and empty out, my heart pumps blood through veins and arteries, my muscles tense and relax, my nervous system hums with the flow of my energy.  It is easy to believe that I am a head full of thoughts and lose touch with the body that supports my thinking and feeling.  As I move through the busyness of this day I will return my awareness to my breathing and being; recognizing I am more than my continual doing and striving.  I set an intention of awareness to breathe and BE.

BEING BORN AGAIN

I choose to let go of past hurts and offenses.  I acknowledge that damage was done and has rippled through my life.  I allow myself to feel the sadness of regret and the pain of unmet expectations and needs.  It was what it was, unintentional neglect and wounding that was fostered by the disease of addiction and generational hurting passed down unconsciously from one ancestor to the next.  I release myself from the imprisonment of resentment and sadness, as well as the need to continue to  pass it on to others.

Today I resolve to live in the present, recognizing the spaciousness within my being to create healing, forgiveness, and peace.  A day of possibility and promise dawns.

NOW or THEN

Letting go of what was and accepting what is, not easy to do.  Rationally it makes no sense to cling to a past that no longer exists.  This only increases my suffering.  I know this truth and yet I still allow fear of the unknown to cloud my vision and bind me.  I refuse to accept that change is inevitable and try to hold on to what is no longer mine. 

I will acknowledge and grieve what has passed and release it with gratitude for what it has meant to me.   I will welcome what is in this moment and remain present to it so I can see the gifts NOW holds.  I choose to dwell in the house of today, while honoring what has come before.

 

LIFE GOES ON

At times it seems as though there is no way out of a situation.  The doors all remain closed, no windows are open, and an impasse is reached.  What now?  Do I panic, pout, pound the door down, pretend I don’t care?  I have tried all of these behaviors and none work very well.  What does bring some relief is the belief that growth and goodness come from every situation and to remember I am just in the middle of the story.  Eventually, faith wins out and I am able to see beyond the borders of my vision.  Life goes on, usually in ways that far surpass where I’ve been in the past. 

Today I will live in this present moment, trusting in the hope I don’t quite see yet.

SELF-CARE IS SACRED GROUND

There are moments when listening to my own thoughts, feelings and needs becomes very difficult because others needs seem to shout out for attention.  It is much easier to give in to the loudest voice unless I am physically sick or deeply depressed.  When I was younger I was expected to set aside my own interests and show up to take care of my parents and siblings.  I’ve been role trained well to be a people pleasing rescuer, but I am tired of this behavior.  It is too costly to avoid care of myself.  I no longer choose to wait until I am worn out, sick, and hurting to look after myself.

I will listen to the voice within me and remain mindful of my own needs.  There is a difference between being selfish and ‘self-ful’.  I have so much more to offer when I give to myself first.  When others express disappointment or anger at my choices, I will remind myself that I can breathe and allow them their feelings.  It’s not my job to make others happy.  I deserve to be nurtured and supported and rather than waiting for someone else to do it for me, I will listen to my own voice and be mindful of my needs.  Self care is sacred ground and this is my starting place today.

LOOK BEYOND

I choose to look beyond today, beyond appearances, beyond judgments, beyond temporary feelings.  I can get caught up in thinking ‘this is the end’ and forget there is so much I can’t yet understand or see.  I can easily fall into discrimination without questioning my assumptions.  I can decide life is unfair or project my own darkness onto others when I lose touch with my inner voice.

Today I will remain mindful of the critical voice within me and recognize it as a defense I no longer require.  Rather I will look beyond and know there is more going on than I can currently discern.  I trust in the goodness of others and the value of myself.  We are all more alike than we are different.  I will look beyond the mess I see so that I can set myself and others free.