ENOUGH ALREADY

Many voices of distraction tempt me to abandon myself and others, to lay down my responsibilities and drift away.  Excuses, rationalizations, minimalizing, blaming:  “It doesn’t matter that much” “It’s not that important” “Just one more…” “You deserve it” “Tomorrow’s another day” “Not now, later” “It’ll all work out” "I can't" "I'm too tired" “Next time we’ll do it differently” “No one will notice” . . .  ENOUGH!

Today I choose to inhabit my body and embrace this day with courage, resilience, acceptance, and presence.  Now is the time. I am the only person accountable for my words, thoughts and actions.  One breath at a time I face myself and you.

FOR NOW-NESS

Nothing lasts forever, things change, people go, live moves on; no wonder it’s so tempting to grasp on to what I want or desire and hold on for dear life.  Only problem, this creates suffering rather than prolonging joy.  No matter how hard I try I can’t prevent the movement of life and I definitely prefer to let go of the continual grief of saying goodbye to what ‘was’. 

Therefore, I will acknowledge the gifts that come into my life today, enjoy them fully with gratitude and blessing, while recognizing the ‘for now-ness’ of the moment.  The good news is: what I don’t desire or want in my life is changing and moving on too.  Sometimes it feels as though change comes much too slowly, other times I can’t keep up with it.  I will breathe in THIS  moment and savor its presence, then exhale and release it.  This is the way of life.

 

                                                                                                          

NO MORE WAR

In the effort to avoid emotional pain, I develop elaborate defense mechanisms. I can deny it exists and sweep it under the rug.  I can minimize it and pretend it’s no big deal.  I can withdraw and develop thick walls to isolate myself.  I can blame it on others becoming critical and judgmental or striking back with threatening words and actions.  I can rationalize it away so I don’t have to feel anything.  I can try to control through the illusion of perfectionism and over-compensation.  I can distract myself with excess food, alcohol, or busy activity to prevent seeing it.  These defenses provide me with temporary relief like a Band-Aid on a gaping wound but fail to provide the true healing I really need.

Today, I choose to mindfully face the pain that comes my way.  I will issue a cease fire and lay down my arms.  No more war within or with others.  I will acknowledge pain's existence and its sources.  I will take positive actions to nurture and protect myself.  I may set boundaries that are needed or communicate my feelings, thoughts and needs assertively or take a time out to give myself a chance to recoup or make a decision to forgive and let go.  I will allow the pain to be my own personal guide to transformation and change.  I can breathe and make space for the pain in my heart understanding it will not last forever. 

SELF ACCEPTANCE

It is difficult, at times, to acknowledge my own imperfection and vulnerability.  I often make excuses, cover up, and hide moments of inadequacy and shortcoming.  I push away what I perceive to be my flaws and limitations and look to others for approval and ok-ness. I continue to carry the shame that was given to me when I was very young and it is time to give it back to those it belongs to, I have held on to it long enough. 

Today I will open my heart to embrace myself with self acceptance. I will affirm my enough-ness and remain present to my own feelings, thoughts and needs.  Only if I show up for myself first can I be there for others.

 

PERCEPTION ISN'T ALWAYS REALITY

 My thoughts and perceptions determine my reality.  So often they lead me on a ‘wild, bumpy, and totally unnecessary’ ride.  I end up assuming you meant something you never intended or interpreting your actions without checking out my judgments.  Then I react to these experiences and create drama and misunderstanding.  Sometimes you do this to me and I stand shaking my head and wondering 'what just happened?'  How much time have I wasted in useless worry, anger, and hurt because I didn’t make sure intentionality matched up with perception.

Today, I make a commitment to myself and to you.  I will take a moment to clarify my beliefs and make sure I’m receiving your messages accurately before I respond.  I will also ask what you are hearing me say to assure I’m being heard and understood.  Perception is not always reality. 

QUE SERA, SERA

Imagining possible futures can be exciting, frustrating, discouraging, exhilarating, and scary.  Planning is definitely necessary at times, however, ruminating on details and drowning myself in ‘what if’s’ does not serve me well.  It is impossible to predict what will be, how others will or won’t be, and what will or won’t happen.  I only end up paralyzing myself with fear and setting myself up with excessive expectations. 
 

The song ‘Que Sera, Sera’ is running through my head and appears to hold a truth today.  I will tend to what this day holds and release what I can’t control, knowing that the future will hold surprises, disappointments, growth, and fulfillment.  I breathe and allow it to unfold in time.  I choose to be present to this 24 hours, after all now is the time I’ve spent time in the past worrying about and it would be a shame to waste all that worry.  Que, sera, sera.

THE MYSTERY OF HOPE

Hope bubbles up from a deep wellspring within, whispering words of wellness, abundance, compassion and connection.  Life may appear bleak and at a dead end at times and the ‘hope-spring’ may be running low, yet even when I think it’s empty I discover there is a slow drizzle of hopefulness still present within.  For this I am grateful.  The source of this fountain is puzzlement to me also how it is continually replenished with promise and possibility.  Today, I mark with gratitude this mystery and affirm my belief and confidence in it.