The Rhythm of Life

I find it reassuring to recognize that each one of us in on a unique journey as we move through this life.  Over and over, I observe myself and others “fall from innocence” as growth, change or a new response to life becomes necessary.   At times, it’s an unwanted experience that provokes me to reluctantly move from the safety of where I am, such as: a death, divorce, illness, financial stressor, geographical move or being fired.  Other times, it’s a gradual awareness of the need for a change of attitude or different behavior, letting go of what no longer works.  Sometimes it’s the inevitable pull of life moving forward as I begin a new stage of life, like: starting college, getting married, becoming a parent, having an empty nest, moving into retirement.    Just as the planet is always turning in perpetual motion, so also does the life around and within me.  The more I cling to ‘what was’ and try to fool myself into believing things or people will last forever providing the security I want, the harder the struggle seems to be. When I remain detached and tell myself I won't connect so I don't have to feel the pain of letting go, loneliness and depression haunt me. 

Today, I choose to remember that I am invited to dance to the rhythm that beats out its song inside and outside of me.  I will embrace these moments and savor them.  I can trust the movement and tempo of today and allow myself to unfold into the mystery of now.

Trading in Expectations

Things don’t always go the way I intend or expect them to go.  What really seems to matter the most is how I manage my disappointment and frustration.  I can pout, sulk, and have a temper tantrum telling myself it’s a horrible shame that it isn't what I expected it to be.  I can deny the facts and pretend until reality finally forces me to accept it the way it is.  I can try to manipulate and control the outcome, clinging to a belief that I know what is best.  Or I can acknowledge my feelings and remember that sometimes I get things the way I want them and sometimes I don’t.  Often, I have to admit things don’t go the way I expect, they actually go better than planned.

Today, I intend to recognize my over-attachment to outcomes and gently release my need to control or impress others.  I know that ultimately things work out for my own and other’s best interests.  I will remind myself that everything has a purpose even if I don't see it yet.

Finishing What I Start

How often do I say I will do something and never get back to it?  My energy shifts and suddenly I’m running down a different road with a long trail of unfinished projects and plans carelessly discarded behind me.  What prevents me from completing what I set out to do?  Sometimes, I become afraid due to anticipated failure or rejection.  Other times I have unrealistic expectations and become exhausted by too many commitments.  I give in when things get too hard or I encounter too many obstacles.  I allow others’ plans to become more important than my own and forget to set boundaries.  Will I end up at the end of my life regretful of all the risks I never took and things I never finished?  I hope not. 

I can only make one choice at a time and take one step at a time.  Today, I choose to evaluate where my energy will be best spent.  I will carefully examine my intention when I decided what to lay aside and what to pursue.  I will recognize when fear, laziness, or mindless activity prevent me from following through on what I believe in and value.  I am determined to persevere and complete what I start.

Polishing My Inner Mirror

It can be a complex puzzle, at times, to know who I am.  My inner self talk can become critical and demeaning when I struggle with the shame of not being who I want to be.  How did I come to define myself by such narrow expectations and limited vision?  When I was little, my caregivers projected their views of my worth and value through their words and actions.  Sometimes, I was accurately seen by them and other times their own poor self-images prevented them from really seeing me.  I became an extension of them.  I began to define myself through the reflection I saw in their eyes and unconsciously a distorted, broken fun-house mirror began to take shape within me.

Now, I struggle with cleaning up this internal mirror.  Is the reflection I see in the mirror someone others have defined me to be or is it truly who I am?  When my friends tell me positive qualities about myself do I fail to take them in or do I tell myself they don’t really know me because if they did they surely wouldn't love me.  Perhaps I need to consider the influence of this biased mirror that distorts my image. 

Today, I choose to wipe this mirror clean with forgiveness, compassion, acceptance, and the truth of those who know and see me accurately.  When I look in their eyes I prefer believing what is seen in me and will open my heart to receive the love that is being offered rather than thinking I have to earn or deserve it.  I will continue to polish my inner mirror until it reflects a true and accurate reflection of my enough-ness.

Sacred Moments

The life I have in this next 24 hours is sacred.  When I view my time and presence as sacred, I re-evaluate how I am using it.  Am I distracted by time wasters, such as watching TV, reading tabloids, or playing video games?  Am I trying to do so many things at once I rush around mindlessly going through the motions of living?  Am I so over-focused on a goal that I can’t see you?  Am I drowning in fear, anger, resentment, jealousy, sadness, or hurt and unable to appreciate the moments of invitation to forgiveness, connection and healing that exist? 

I choose to be mindful in the choices I make of how to invest my time this day and to recognize that your time is also sacred.  I experience gratitude and appreciation when I recognize the precious time you choose to share with me.  I greet this day, this time, and you with awe and honor. 

Being in the Flow

Holding on and letting go, holding on and letting go; this is the rhythm of my day.  My breath goes in and often I notice I hold on to it until I can no longer wait before releasing a large exhale that makes room for a new breath.  This is so parallel to my process throughout the day.  Events, interactions, circumstances, experiences happen and I tend to have difficultly letting them go to make room for what’s next.  I wrestle with 'what ifs' or 'if onlys'.  I  allow my feelings to go unexpressed and unheard and discount myself and others.  Then, I become overwhelmed, confused, and stressed out until finally setting myself free again when the pressure becomes to great.

Today, I choose to be more mindful of staying in the flow of the moment.  I will follow my breath and experience the gentle movement of the tides of this day.  Rather than trying to control how the day emerges or creating dams to block the current, I will simply float where the flow takes me.  I will feel the emotions and recognize the needs I and others have without judgment or shaming.  I will express my truth and listen with an open heart as I ride the waves of this day.  I can trust I will  end up where I’m supposed to be at the end of the day. I simply immerse myself in the flow.  

Connection

The time and space of today issues an invitation to me: “Will you take a risk to be seen and known today?”   “Will you open your heart to know and see others?”  

I can choose to play it safe while I rush mindlessly from one moment to the next taking care of business and blindly passing by opportunities to connect.  I can hide quietly on the sidelines while I admiringly watch others dance through the day, stepping on each other’s toes and inviting relationship with one another.  I can bury my head in the sand and allow time to pass me by while I resignedly believe I am a victim of others lack of compassion and inability to reach out.  I can march forward pushing others out of the way while I ruthlessly conquer the obstacles I encounter.  Each of these routes ends in regret, loneliness, and pain.  Nowhere near the destination I have desired to reach. 

I courageously choose to say yes.  I will allow myself to be known while I stand firmly rooted in the adequacy of enough-ness.  I will open my heart to have curiosity about you, while I take time to carefully listen and respect your truth. I trust the creativity and spontaneity that flows between us and believe that together we can co-create a rich rapport and enjoyable connection.  Only this makes the journey truly satisfying.