Choices

 

I have choice.  Choice to open my heart to this day, approach it with caution, or close up; it’s up to me to decide what I will do.  I can choose my responses to those I encounter.  I can opt in or out of different activities, select what I will eat or wear, take chances or sit out the dance.  It’s up to me.  I can think what I think, believe what I want to believe, and feel what I feel.  Sometimes I forget how much freedom I have and only see what I cannot change.  Today, I will recognize the choices I have and remember when I think I’m a victim in reality I have the power and availability of many choices.

Integrity

Staying in my integrity means letting go of the defenses that prevent honesty and openness; this is not an easy task.  My fears of abandonment and rejection can hold me back from being genuine.  My discomfort with feeling overwhelmed can stop me from recognizing my truth and speaking it with candor and respect.

Today, I am committed to authenticity.  I will stand in the reality of who I am, whether I like it or not. I will challenge my unwillingness to change what is out of sync with my integrity.  I will celebrate what is sincere and acknowledge my own and others’ courage to be.

Am I Really Lonely?

There seems to be a difference between being alone and being lonely.  Being alone is a physical fact; I am by myself, solitary and unaccompanied.  At least I perceive it is.   Being lonely is an emotional experience, it doesn’t require physical isolation.  I can be in a room full of people and still feel isolated, unsupported, unheard, deserted, abandoned and cut off.   Sometimes I perceive I am standing solo without companionship and support only to find out others are available and are reaching out to me but I have been blinded to their intention.  Other times I feel connected, only to discover I am being misunderstood and scorned.  Communication sure is a difficult process.

Today I will open my heart to those who cross my path and graciously welcome them.  I will remember those who stand by me and are with me in spirit, if not in flesh and gratefully acknowledge that rarely do I ever really stand alone.  I am connected in ways I am only beginning to discover and this is both comforting and reassuring to know.

Serenity

Serenity is within my reach.  As I slow down and take time to acknowledge my breath; it peeks around the corner.  As I remain in silence, allowing distractions to roll over me and disperse; it makes an appearance.  As I release the pressures I feel to be perfect and perform it reveals itself.  As I open my heart to the compassion in others’ eyes and relax in the knowledge that I am not alone; it is present.  As I remember the providence I have experienced through the years, it draws near to me.

Today, I will recognize the serenity in my heart.

Acknowledging Moderation

Exaggeration in thought and language leads to amplification of feeling which creates drama and chaos in my life.  Today I will be mindful of when I find myself using “Always, Never, Everyone, Noone, Continually, Constantly, All the Time”.  These distortions overgeneralize my experience and are rarely true.  They increase the magnitude of my emotions which often creates reactivity.  I can breathe and recognize  my need for moderation.  It is very seldom life is lived in the extremes and I am grateful for that reality.

Courage

Today I will remember that I have courage.  

Courage to risk rejection when I reach out to connect to others.
Courage to try new things even though I might fail.
Courage to believe its true when others tell me I'm loved.
Courage to embrace the unknown, trusting everything will fall into   
     place.
Courage to stand firmly in place, when it would be easier to give up.

Courage to dare to be adequate.

Courage to change what needs to be changed in myself.

Courage to accept what cannot be changed.

Courage to face this new day and all that it holds.

Playing my Hand

The hand of cards that I am dealt today may hold desirable or undesirable cards.  It’s my choice how to play those cards.  I can grumble, complain, pout, rant, and rave OR I can cheat, manipulate, and lie OR I can accept what ‘is’ and explore creative ways to improve and make the most of what I hold.  Today I will open my heart graciously to what comes my way, I will discard what needs to be discarded, play what can be played, and hold on to what needs to be kept.  What others throw away may be useful to me and if it is I will gratefully pick it up.  I will look forward to the draw cards that may surprise and delight me.  Win or lose, at the end of the day I want to look back at how I lived these 24 hours and feel a sense of satisfaction and pride in myself, as well as, appreciation and gratitude for the other players I encountered along the way.  Deal me those cards…

Looking beyond

I choose to look beyond the present circumstances of this day and acknowledge my belief that the current moment is temporary.  Often I drag myself down when I allow my reality to be defined by situations, interactions with others, circumstance, and feelings that are fleeting.  I choose to ground myself in the truth of my being today.  I am a strong and capable person.  I am loveable just the way I am.  I am no better or no worse than anyone else.  I have a right to be treated with respect.  I am a person of worth and value.  I can grow and change my mind if I decide I need to do so.  It is safe to be who I am here and now.

Simple Pleasures

Today I choose to focus on simple pleasures:  The bright blue, cloudless sky.  A cool drink of water. The sound of birds singing to one another. A comfortable chair to sit on.  Clothes I enjoy wearing.  A smile from a stranger.  Looking into the eyes of someone I love.  Watching a blue heron slowly walk across the grass.  Leftovers from a meal I liked.  Companionship.  Working with friends.  Accomplishing a goal in adequate time.  Noticing my breath flow into my lungs.  A piece of warm apple pie.  The sounds of music.

I think I could spend the day identifying simple pleasures.  I count myself fortunate.  Gratitude really does lift the heart.

Surprise!

Surprises can be wonderful, exciting and thrilling; however, they can also be heartbreaking, confusing, and undesirable.  Everyday holds unexpected moments that are welcome and unwelcome.  I await the sunrise with gratitude while being annoyed by bills that show up in my mailbox.  I am appreciative of a kind gesture and frustrated when things don’t go as planned.  My need for control and fear of what's unknown diminishes my amazement and also increases my negativity and scare.  I release my need to manage and know what’s coming next.  I can reassure myself that I am safe and if something comes along I don’t like, I have the ability to deal with it.  I can allow my heart and mind to be open to the many surprises this day holds.

Use Your Words

It’s funny how I expect others to read my mind and then am disappointed or hurt when they fail to do so; actually not so funny.  If I want to be understood and heard I must put into words what I think, feel and need.  Today, I will remain aware of the assumptions I make without checking them out, of the expectations I have that I haven’t communicated clearly.  I will also examine the ways I guilt myself for not always knowing what others need or want when they haven’t given me adequate information.  I will gently remind myself to ‘use your words’ and affirm my successes in doing so.

Focusing On the Light

Today I will notice what brings me joy.  The sun sparkling on the tree leaves.  A squirrel running across the lawn.  Breakfast enjoyed with a friend.  A cloudless bright blue sky.  The time to sit still and just be.  Stories shared and exchanged.  Although I could also focus on what isn’t ‘right’ or disappoints me which will bring me low into a well of upset-ness, I choose to lift myself higher and acknowledge my blessings.

Having Faith

Faith means believing in what can’t be seen or experienced YET.  Having confidence that what you hope for will come to pass.  Faith ebbs and flows.  One day it is easy to access and other times it appears to have vanished completely.  It does help to remember that even when it’s a cloudy day, the sun is still shining.  Obstacles prevent me from seeing it, but I know it continues to exist.  Therefore, I can have optimism that peace is possible on days of conflict.  I can anticipate good things when darkness is all I can see.  I can expect promise and possibility when words of despair or limitation echo in my mind.  I will remind myself of the truth of these words today and focus on healing, laughter, friendship, connection, beauty, and lightness of being.

Withholding Judgment

Every day holds challenges that can threaten to pull me up or down.  Up towards energy, excitement, and hopefulness or down towards discouragement, depression, and exhaustion.  As I move through this day, I will remain grounded and centered.  Rather than judge my experiences as good or bad, I will remember the following Zen story.

There is an old farmer who had an old horse for tilling his fields. One day the horse escaped into the hills and, when all the farmer's neighbors sympathized with the old man over his bad luck, the farmer replied, 'Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?'
A week later the horse returned with a herd of wild horses from the hills and this time the neighbors congratulated the farmer on his good luck. His reply was, 'Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?'
Then, when the farmer's son was attempted to tame one of the wild horses, he fell off its back and broke his leg. The farmer’s only reaction was, 'Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?'
Some weeks later the army marched into the village and conscripted every able-bodied youth they found there. When they saw the farmer's son with his broken leg they let him off. Now was that good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?

Control Freak

The days when plans go awry and things aren’t happening as planned can be difficult to negotiate.  Today, I will remember that I am not in control of the universe and if I continue to frantically try to make others fit into my version of what ‘should’ be, I will only succeed in an increase of my suffering and discontent.  I choose to practice radical acceptance and even though I may not agree with the way things are I will cease my efforts to regulate the world.  It is what it is.  I will face this day with respect for others, open hands and an open heart and aware of the blessings that surround me.