Some days it’s easy to identify how boundaries help me. They protect me from being overwhelmed and
keep me responsible for my own feelings, thoughts, and needs instead of
distracting myself by becoming enmeshed in yours. They inform me when I am being taken
advantage of or treated with disrespect.
They help me believe in myself and stay present. Sometimes I forget how my setting boundary
helps you. The message I give you when I
say NO respectfully is a strong, positive affirmation of my belief that you can
take responsibility for your needs. I
see you as someone who is capable of taking action on your own behalf. I refrain from giving you the subtly, shaming
message ‘poor you, you need me, I’m not sure I believe in you.’ If I perceive your need for help I will wait
until you invite me to specifically offer assistance in some way, rather than
rushing in and taking over. I choose to
connect with you collaboratively and compassionately. If you don’t like what I am willing to give,
I will remind myself that ultimately you are responsible for your own
welfare. If you dislike hearing no I
will remind myself that my NO is really a YES to believing in you.
I intend to remember how the boundaries I set for myself
today are not only good for me, but they also benefit you.
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