SEEKING BALANCE

There is a time for rest and a time for attending to responsibilities; a time to play and a time to work.  Giving in to impulsive urges to avoid obligations and take off doing mindless activity is tempting but ultimately matters are only made worse.  Tasks still need to be completed and procrastination only increases worry, anxiety, defeat, and low self-esteem. 

Today, I choose to strive for moderation.  I will diligently take care of the things that require my attention.   I will remember to nourish myself with good nutrition and exercise. I will take time to breathe and relax.  I will give myself permission to play and rest.  I will avoid excess and be mindful of maintaining equilibrium and balance.  At least I’ll try…

 

WHAT NOW?

Is it the end of the road?  There are times when it certainly feels like the end and all hope is gone.  I can see no way out and catastrophe is looming in the air.  I’m at a dead stop wondering what now.  Then, out of seemingly nowhere, I notice the next best step and then the next and next..  Before long I look back and see that the road has taken a turn, I look ahead and see a new stretch of road before me.  I am enlivened again with optimism and confidence.

I have learned to not trust what I feel is ‘the end’ but rather to wait with hope for the next best step, surrendering my agenda, breathing, opening my heart to whatever will come.  Believing there is a purpose to road I am on brings me comfort, a hint of promise and possibility, an ability to remain in the question, and a sense of peace.  Today, I will be reminded that each of us walks our own journey.  Where?  I don’t know but I trust the road will continue…

FACING FEAR

Fear binds up the spirit and creates havoc within.  Although fear might knock on the door of my heart today, I don’t have to open the door and invite it in.  I can ignore it by distracting myself with more healthy pursuits.  I can face it and challenge its false claims of doom and disaster with the truth serum of love and transformation.  While danger may be an actual reality to be faced and dealt with; fear is based only on thoughts and beliefs that are like wisps of wind that can be present one moment and gone the next.

I choose to courageously face the dangers and confrontations that show up in my life today and to recognize fear for the ‘boogey man’ it is.  I will stand strong knowing I have the ability to bravely encounter the moments of fear I may face with wisdom, strength and faith in myself, my journey, my friends, my higher power and a universe that continues to unfold and grow in love.

RESPONSIBLE THINKING

I choose to open my mind to different ways of interpreting the events that occur in this day.  It is very easy for me to lock on to the dysfunctional belief patterns of blaming (They’re out to get me), inadequacy (I’ll never be good enough), narcissisim (It needs to be my way), or All or nothing thinking (Noone ever…Everyone always…It’s never going…).  Although this thinking is familiar it also leads me down the rabbit hole of negativity.

Today, I will challenge these beliefs by taking accountability, acknowledging my enough-ness, recognizing my limitations, and reminding myself that balance and moderation seems to work better for me than living in the extremes of all or nothing.  I can take responsibility for my thinking.

GROWING

Growing can be thrilling as I open myself up to new opportunities and innovative, creative ways of doing things.  Growing can be scary as I step into the unknown believing there will be solid ground to stand on.  Growing can be frustrating as I try out new behaviors and skills and struggle for mastery.  Growing can be irritating when I’m pushed into it before I’m ready to move forward.  Growing can be sad when I have to let go of people, places, and things and say goodbye.  Growing can be inviting and welcome as I face this new 24 hours.

I choose to open my being to the growth that presents itself today.  However, I may feel as it appears I will breathe, reassure myself, and then take a step forward trusting this path I am on.

PRACTICING STILLNESS

Taking time to breathe, clear my mind, and center can feel like a waste of time but it certainly isn’t!  It is as essential to my wellbeing as eating, exercising, connecting with friends, and sleeping.  There are always so many details to attend to and reasons to put off a few minutes of meditation.  When I was younger I was too busy surviving, people pleasing, and trying hard to not make mistakes to acknowledge a need for a time out.  Those days are over and it’s now necessary to develop new habits.

Today I will slow down and recognize my need for grounding and silence.  I will deliberately set aside the time I need to be still within and quiet.  I will center myself in tranquility and allow my heart to be full.  In this moment, nothing is so important it can't wait.  I breathe in serenity and peace.

DEALING WITH FEELINGS

I often forget what I feel is dependent on my beliefs and thoughts.  I feel sad, disappointed, hurt, angry, happy, or whatever and can easily blame others for generating these feelings in me.  By doing so, I absolve myself of responsibility and feel disempowered.  No wonder it’s so easy to feel victimized and out of control.  I can sometimes overlook the fact that my feelings are created by my own judgments, interpretations, assumptions, and the stories I tell myself about the events that occur in my life.  If I choose to tell myself ‘this is the worst day ever’ or ‘things should go the way I want them to go and it’s horrible when they don’t’, of course I’m going to feel very frustrated and upset.  If I choose to tell myself ‘this isn’t what I want, but sometimes I get what I want and sometimes I don’t’, then I still feel may feel discouraged but it won’t be such an extreme experience. 

Today, I will take responsibility for my feelings, thoughts and actions.  I will recognize when blaming others surfaces in my mind and remind myself that no one is ultimately in control of my life, except me.  I can acknowledge my feelings and find ways to get my needs met.  I accept myself; my feelings, thoughts, needs, actions.  This is my life to live as I choose.

TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY ACTIONS

One of the ways I stay in the victim role is through making excuses.  I make excuses for my lapses in judgment, the things I feel ashamed to admit, my own laziness, my imperfection, the things that don’t go the way I plan.  I struggle to acknowledge or take responsibility for my slipups or mistakes.  I learned very early that it was dangerous to allow another to see my inadequacy so I began to hide behind my apologies, explanations, justifications, and excuses.

Today, I recognize that no one is without fault and I choose not to strive for perfection but rather to accept myself for who I am.  I give myself permission to grow, change, learn, and make mistakes.  I admit when I am wrong, take responsibility for my actions, and forgive myself for the times when I act outside my integrity.  I am accountable for what I choose to do or not do. 

YES

As this morning dawns I wonder what new experiences will unfold in my life.  Will I be able to embrace what is welcome, as well as, what is not so welcome?  Will I open my heart to receive what this day holds and learn from the lessons that present themselves?  Will I connect with the people who show up and allow myself to love and be loved? Will I allow myself to break open and surrender my stubborness? Will I take risks and be willing to fall? Will I recognize the music of creation and dance with it? 

I choose to say YES to the opportunities I am given today to learn, to love, to dance, to cry, to serve, to believe, to breathe, to embrace and be embraced, to let go and hold on, to do and to be.  Life is an awfully big adventure.

WAITING

Waiting for answers,

Waiting for other’s to make up their mind or me to make up mine,

Waiting for doors to open or close,

Waiting for spring to come and flowers to bloom,

Waiting for red lights to change or cell phones to ring,

Waiting for unwanted consequences to unfold or not,

Waiting for the pot to boil or the car to warm up,

Waiting to win the lottery or for pigs to fly.
Waiting is often filled with expectations, some of them realistic, some not so much.  However, to wait with an open heart and open hands, to live in the moment instead of anticipation of what will be next; this is welcome balm to my anxious heart.

Today I will remain rooted in the moment, enjoying it as it unfolds in its time.  I release my expectations and breathe in NOW.

BRING IT ON!

Hope abounds as this day dawns. 

New chances for connection, opportunities to grow, to learn, to love. 

Moments of change and moments of continuity. 

Possibility of pain or pleasure. 

Expression of feelings, thoughts and needs. 

Breathing in and breathing out. 

I accept and choose it all.

RIGHT NOW ALL IS WELL

Who creates the stress in my head?  I do.  When I ruminate on details endlessly and think of every possible way I could do something, I add to my ‘stress-meter’.  When I imagine everything that might go wrong, filling my mind with ‘what-if’s’ and probabilities, I increase my worry.  When I criticize for the tiniest of flaws and expect myself or others to be perfect, I become frazzled.  When I spend time re-playing things that didn’t go the way I wanted them to go and shame myself and others endlessly for not living up to my expectations, I create unhappiness and dissatisfaction.  These thoughts leave me feeling tense, jittery, paralyzed and full of anxiety, certainly not ready and open to life.

Today, I choose to have more mindfulness about the thoughts I put in my head.  I will breathe and relax allowing myself to just be.  When unsettling, troubling thoughts attempt to knock on the door of my consciousness, I will send them away like unwelcomed guests.  When I discover upset or worry have taken residence within, I will soothe and reassure myself remembering that right now in this moment all is well.  I will breathe in peace and exhale the tension I find within, transforming my worries into tiny pieces of fluff that float away and dissolve.  Right now all is well.

CALMING MY FEARS

Anxious moments appear sometimes seemingly out of nowhere.  Suddenly I feel overwhelmed by fear of rejection, fear of inadequacy, fear of the unknown, fear of abandonment, fear of being hurt, fears pop out of the closet like boogey men to haunt me.  I have learned to slow down rather than run away, to breathe and recognize what my inner child is trying to tell me is needed.  Something is happening that is being interpreted as a threat, if I can calm myself I will be able to shift through my experience to figure out what is needed.  Perhaps I need to be reminded that I am enough or reassured that I am safe, maybe I need to set a boundary or give myself permission to take a risk. 

Today, I will take my time and move at my own pace.  I will acknowledge my fears and allow them to inform me of what is required.  I will nurture and accept myself, appreciating my feelings and needs.  I choose to stand confidently  and courageously rooted in this day, breathing and being.

 

IT'S A NEW DAY

Today starts with a clean slate.  I can choose to begin again, start over, and open myself to the possibilities of this new day.  Likewise, I can decide to hold on to the past and let it pollute this moment by expecting more of the same and probably getting that expectation fulfilled.  There is a time to consciously deal with unresolved issues, however, if I hold on to grudges and rigidly cling to limited beliefs about myself and others, I do harm to myself and miss out on the opportunities this day holds.
 

I choose to free myself from the bondage of the past and to open my mind and heart to the gifts now offers.
 

WORKING TOGETHER

Many times I act as if I am the ‘Master Controller’ of the universe, expecting everyone and everything to bow down to my desires and wishes.  It can get very lonely and scary ruling the empire by myself.  It’s also exhausting taking accountability for everything that goes awry.  I am convinced of the need to let go of the need to control.  When I was younger, I had to assume responsibility that I wasn’t prepared or ready to handle.  I tried desperately to influence the people and situations around me in an effort to avoid conflict, chaos, pain, and suffering.  It created an illusion of safety but really wasn’t all that successful. 

Today I find myself often holding on to control when it isn’t necessary.  I can choose to let go and trust that the universe is unfolding as it should.  I am not alone, you are willing and ready to work with me.  When I need to step up to the bat I can do so and then surrender it when the need is over.  I will breathe and remind myself that I am safe and confusion or chaos doesn’t require the same response now as it did then.  I will open my mind and heart to share power with you and work as a teammate.  I have gifts and skills and so do you, together we can create moments of brilliance.

EMPOWERMENT

When feelings flood my being and knock me off my feet I can either drown or learn to swim.  It’s easy to give in and to allow the waves of feeling to sweep me away wherever the tide might take me but then I end up feeling victimized and powerless.  Saying and doing things that I regret; I blame others for ‘making’ me feel this way and take no responsibility for my actions.  The payoffs for giving into helplessness are others may rush to fix me, trying to rescue me from the whirlpool of my emotions, making excuses for me and not allowing me to experience the consequences of my actions.  But, the choice of victimhood has high costs.
 

I no longer choose to pay those costs.  I will take responsibility for the challenges I face in this day.  True it may be scary to take risks, however, I will acknowledge my courage and learn the lessons I need to learn.  I will comfort and nurture myself when I fall short of the mark, get up and try again.  I will celebrate my successes and affirm my belief in myself.  I will listen to my feelings and recognize they are temporary experiences.  I will be curious about the stories I tell myself that create these feelings and notice when these stories are judgments and assumptions.  I will communicate my needs assertively without expectation.  I am in control of my life and choose a life of empowerment this day.

TAKING THINGS PERSONALLY

There are days when it is easy to take things personally and to believe the worst about myself and others.  This leads to hurt, fear of connection, discouragement, anger, disillusionment and suffering.  I become the center of the universe and believe that others’ choices are reactions to something I said or did.   I begin to shame myself for being inadequate or blame others for being hurtful and at fault.  Neither of these options works for me anymore.

Today, I will remember that you have the right to make choices that work for you just as I have the right to make choices that work for me.  I will release my belief that I control you in anyway and bless you to be who you are whether I agree with you or not.  I deserve the same blessing from you that I offer.  I surrender my desire to understand or make sense of your choices as it’s none of my business.  I will focus my attention on the choices I make today and walk in freedom, living in this moment and allowing it to unfold as it will.

CREATING RESPECT

Being respectful and showing others that I value and care for them is a high priority for me.  However, it’s a reality that becomes nearly impossible when my mind becomes filled with judgment and expectation.  I stop seeing you as you really are and suddenly it’s more about me than it is you or us.  Respect starts to slip away and I begin to react.  Sometimes I am completely unaware that the thoughts I am telling myself about what you said or did are not facts but merely beliefs or assumptions.  I blindly create walls, prejudice, distance and disrespect, becoming angry, hurt, frustrated, narrow-minded and intolerant.  This is definitely not the person I choose to be.

Today I will recognize when I feel slighted or hurt and ask myself what story I’m telling myself that is creating this feeling.  Before I react, I will communicate my interpretation of your action directly to you in order to find out if I’ve misunderstood your intention; most of the time I find I have.  I will remember that I want to participate in an honest, open encounter with you and create mutual acceptance, and care.  I choose to walk the road with you today showing you the respect you deserve.

 

SELF CARE

Pushing, pushing, pushing, there are times when I pressure myself to perform, to achieve, to strive for perfection until finally my body cries out ‘ouch, stop’ and refuses to go any further.  I become irritable and unpleasant, alienating those around me.  I feel depressed , frustrated with myself and out of sorts.

It’s very possible to avoid this experience if I only stay mindful of what I am doing.  Today I will listen to my body and take care to its needs.  I will remain aware when I am over-doing it, remind myself that I can dare to be adequate and release myself from the perfectionism trap.  I will acknowledge my feelings and needs and attend to them with compassion and openness.  I will breathe and rest when I am tired.  I choose to take care of myself first so I can be available to others.

PROCRASTINATION

Procrastination whispers invitingly in my ear: “Later, tomorrow, there’s no rush, you can wait, not now.”  While I may feel temporary relief when I listen to this seductive voice, I usually set myself up for increased stress, problems sleeping, stomach aches and panic.  I miss out on opportunities, disappointed others and myself by unfinished or forgotten promises,  prepare insufficiently for success, and then blame and shame myself for my laziness.  And even so, the voice of procrastination still has appeal and tempts me.  Putting off movement is greatly influenced by my inability to recognize the payoff/costs ratio.  If the payoff isn’t greater than the costs I don’t move.  Sometimes my lack of motivation is due to fear of taking risks and failing, other times it’s because I think I don’t have enough information to make a decision and I’m scared of possible outcomes and not being able to control results.  I let ‘what ifs’ stop me in my tracks and deceive myself by believing I’ll feel more motivated or ready to act tomorrow.

Today, I choose to take time to focus my energy, prioritize my goals, remember the benefits of taking action over inaction, balance my activity so I’m not worn out by trying to do too much, and breathe.  I will step forward responsibly and accomplish what lies before me.   I will take time to rest and restore myself, recognizing what has been achieved and giving myself a pat on the back.  I can do one thing at a time and set small, manageable goals.  There is no time like NOW.