Making Assumptions

When I listen to others do I check out my interpretation of what they are saying or do I just assume I ‘know’ what they mean?  So many times I have been guilty of making assumptions and then respond or behave based on those beliefs only to find I was incorrect in my understanding of what was being said to me.  I have walked away from relationships, destroyed trust, and created drama and suffering for myself and others due to my faulty listening.

Today, I will not guess at what others mean when they send me a message.  I will ask clarifying questions and avoid supposing I know.  I will check out my beliefs to make sure I am accurate before I buy into them.  This has been a costly lesson that I do not want to have to learn it again.

Taking my Time

What seems urgent, often times isn’t.  I think I must act immediately or dire consequences will fall upon me.  Usually, this just is not true.  When the best choice of action is unclear and I feel ambivalent or confused I will not move forward impulsively.  Rather, I will pause, give myself time to breathe and permission to wait until I feel more certain.  Rarely do I need immediate answers or does grasping for closure work.  I can patiently step aside and listen to the pulse beat of my needs, intentions, and feelings.  I can gather information to make a well informed choice.  I can remind the panicky inner voice of “Hurry Up” that I can take my time.  I will sit with an open heart, open mind, and open hands today.

Beginner's Mind

Closing my mind to new ideas or different ways of doing things does not serve me well.  I become mired in ‘that’s the way it’s always been’ mentality and miss out on learning easier and more effective ways of being and doing.  Today, I choose to remain open-minded and willing to consider new and novel approaches for living.  I can always discard what doesn’t work.  I recognize that trying out different behaviors requires me to take my time and exert extra energy.  I will let go of control and risk failure.  Although this is scary territory, I can relax and allow myself to have beginner’s mind. 

Impermanence

Change happens.  I can dig my feet in and refuse to accept it; however I only exhaust myself trying to prevent the inevitable.  I can reject making a commitment out of fear that nothing will stay the same and lose sources of joy and satisfaction.  I can recognize the movement of life and learn the dance of ‘holding on’ and ‘letting go’ with humility and grace.

Today, I will acknowledge the change that is occurring in my life and with open hands release what is ready to end, open my heart to the transformation that is needed, and receive with gratitude the new and unknown.

Negotiating difficult moments

When days don’t go the way I expect or want it is certainly tempting to have a grown-up temper tantrum.  I sometimes pout, get cranky, stamp my foot, am sulky, refuse to cooperate, say no before even listening, am unreasonable, become disrespectful and grouchy.  I admit I am not pleasant to be around in these rare moments. 

Recognizing and taking accountability for my childlike behavior is one step towards changing it.  Today, I choose to communicate ‘using my words’, open my mind to alternative ways of understanding the situation, try out new choices before I reject them, and seek out compromise.  I can accept influence from others, as well as, respectfully express my thoughts, feelings, and needs.  I imagine it will work better to send my adult self in to negotiate difficult moments instead of sending the child within me. 

Speaking Up

I will speak up today and voice my opinion even if it is likely to create conflict or disapproval.  I will remember the many people who bravely have stood in the tension of speaking truth under much greater consequences than I will ever face. 
I have a right to respectfully express my perceptions.  Others also have a right to disagree with me.  I expect respectful acknowledgement of my right to disagree with you and be willing to understand and listen to you in return.  Although there may be times when we are unable to reach consensus, it is nonetheless important for each of us to have a voice.

Staying grounded

Despite the chaos that surrounds me I can remain calm and self-assured.  With my feet firmly planted on the ground, mindfully breathing, and centered within, I need not be disturbed by the upset of others.  I recognize that there is a natural movement through my day like the tides that ebb and flow.  My emotions also rise and fall, as do those of others.  If someone is upset about something, rather than trying to fix them quickly or immediately changing my mood, I will remember it isn’t my responsibility to make others happy.  I can allow them to experience their own frustration or disappointment and know they are accountable for their own emotions and what they choose to do or not do.  I will remain centered on my own concerns today.

Taking Breath Breaks

Mindless activity swirls around me inviting mechanical busyness and tempting me to get lost in meaningless motion.  I choose, however, to pause, breathe, be here, now, and remind myself to live this moment consciously.  Although details await my attention presently nothing is as important as breathing and being.  I can return to the hustle and bustle with a renewed awareness, focus and energy.  I will take breath breaks throughout this day.

People Pleasing

As I move through this day, I will remain conscious of the times and ways in which I try to people please.  Am I focused on making you happy to avoid conflict or am I focused on being in my own integrity?  If I surrender my thoughts to agree with you and squash down my feelings to get along with you and set aside my needs to meet yours, I may discover that I am living your life and disregarding my own. There is enough room for me to acknowledge and respect you and also to allow myself to be me. 

Moving On

I am moving on. 

·       Moving on from the bitterness and resentment that hardens my heart and keeps me locked in self-righteousness. 

·       Moving on from the fear of taking risks that prevents me from taking steps forward in to life and relationship. 

·       Moving on from belittling myself and putting myself into a box of self-limitation that stifles my growth.

·       Moving on from believing that others will reject or abandon me if I put my trust in their words.

I am tired of the prison walls that have held me in.  Perhaps they were useful at some point in my life but now they no longer work for me.  So, I give a notification that I am moving on.

Taking My Time

I can take my time and do one thing at a time.  Rushing around and mindlessly jumping from task to task creates exhaustion, a sense of meaninglessness, and lack of joy.  Today I choose to have awareness of how I am spending my time.  I will engage with the people I encounter in order to acknowledge connection and support.  I will put my energy into tasks that create meaning for me and a feeling of accomplishment.  I will take time to appreciate the small stuff, a squirrel running up a tree, two birds dancing together in the sky, the sunlight reflecting off the wall, a door that is held open for me, a by passer who smiles.  It’s the little things that make my day. I can slow down and take my time.

Taking Accountability

I am not a victim.  Whether I think I’m being taken advantage of, I have no power, or others are forcing me to act in a certain way; no one really determines my thoughts or behavior except me.  I always have the right to say yes or no. I can take responsibility for my own feelings, thoughts and needs.  I am accountable for what I do or don’t do.   

Today I will remember that I can choose to respond in the ways I choose.  I will be mindful of how I think and challenge thoughts that are distorted.  I will express my feelings respectfully and acknowledge my needs.  No one else is accountable for my life but me.

 

 

Facing Today

I breathe in and I breathe out, resting in a belief that however my life unfolds today I have what is needed to face it.  Some moments of this day I will savor and enjoy.  Undoubtedly, some moments I will dislike.  Some might feel boring and others present a challenge.  Whatever develops I can choose to fight against my reality and push it away or I can open my arms and embrace it.  Accepting doesn’t mean I agree or approve of what’s happening; it just acknowledges that it is what it is.  When I avoid or deny what is, I increase my suffering.  However, when I open my heart to what my experience currently is, I can breathe, be authentic in the moment, and then make choices to work towards change. 

 

Step Into the Unknown

It’s scary and challenging to take risks and step into the unknown.  Safer territory can certainly be attained by doing nothing; however, the penalty for inaction is frustration, poor self-esteem, and the unsatisfying sense of being a victim.  Stepping up to the plate and taking a swing at whatever faces me, even if I don’t succeed the first time, brings pride and also the opportunity for growth.

 

Today, I will courageously move forward even though it is risky.  I will trust the path is unfolding before me and doors are opening to provide me with direction and focus.  I will remember the many times I have benefited from taking risks in the past  and reassure myself of my worth and value.

Taking Time to Dance

Taking time to recognize and savor my successes is necessary.  I have barely even acknowledged them in the past.  I may feel a momentary thrill of delight  but then move on to the next challenge or endeavor with hardly a glance backward.  Today, I choose to slow down and give myself a chance to feel proud, satisfied and grateful.  Contentment and bliss are experiences that refresh and nourish my spirit.  If I wait for everyone around me to be happy before I allow myself to enjoy life I will never dance.  I am grateful for this moment of wonder and delight.

Grief

Today I will take time to grieve my losses.  It is difficult to open my heart to new beginnings when I long for what is over.  Rather than pushing away my pain and using activity, people, or substances to distract me from it, I will recognize what I feel and acknowledge my losses.  Being present to now will only be possible by letting go of then.  I will comfort myself with hope of the many times I have survived previous losses and I will receive the love of others in my life now.

Holding On ... Letting Go

When unwanted or sad things happen it is natural to be disheartened and want to throw in the towel, whether it’s at work, in a relationship, or at home.  There are times when continuing to struggle is futile and an ending is necessary.  However, there are other instances where standing in the question and showing persistence and determination is needed. 

Today, I choose to stand my ground with my feet firmly planted.  I will acknowledge my truth, however painful it might be to realize.  I will breathe and surrender my need to control.  Whether I grieve what can’t be changed or continue to persist in moving toward my long term goal, it will come from a place of acceptance of myself and you.

Choosing Door One or Door Two

Having choice to walk through door one or door two is a gift for sure but not always easy to negotiate.  Anxiety about which door is the ‘right’ option, fear about consequences created by opening different doors, grief about closing old ones; confusion about what is reckless or realistic.  

Today, I will remember the many choices I have made in the past which always lead me further down my path.  The journey is more important than the outcome and very few choices are permanent.  There are usually many opportunities to change my mind and besides that whatever I decide I will grow and move forward.  So, I can breathe and trust that the path is unfolding before me.  I will not open a door out of fear.  When I feel peaceful and positive, only then will I walk forward.

Tuning Into Abundance

Fear of scarcity has a louder voice some days than others.  Is there enough money, enough time, enough love?  Am I enough?  These questions haunt me at times and create doubt, despair, suspicion, frustration, and insecurity.  Despite evidence of my needs being met, adequate resources being available, self-sufficiency and success being achieved, fear of shortage persists.

Today, I choose to focus on the abundance that graces my life.  I am loved by others, my essential needs are met, I have this moment to breathe and savor, and I am a person of worth and value.  There is ample plenty in NOW.  I can live with gratitude for today, surrendering my fears about the future knowing that unlimited abundance exists as I remain present and openhearted to NOW.

Slowing down

Busy, busy, rushing, rushing.  I run quickly from one responsibility to the next forgetting to take time and recognize the present moment.  Today, I will slow down and acknowledge my breathing.  I will practice greater presence in the midst of this day’s chaos while remaining grounded and centered.  I will look into your eyes and celebrate the awareness of the gift you are in my day.