HANDLING CONFLICT

When faced with the challenge of being disrespected, it is so easy to strike back or get even by engaging in a war of hurtful words.  Even though I may think taking aim and firing angry comebacks is going to keep me safe, in reality it only escalates and divides making connection, understanding, and wellbeing more difficult.  Sadly, I realize I had skillful training from my early caregivers in this ‘take no prisoners’/’strike before they strike you’/’blaming & shaming’ form of communication.  However, if I want to I know I can choose to change my response pattern and learn more effective ways to handle conflict.

Today, I acknowledge I am no longer a child being bombarded by irresponsible adults.  I can choose to recognize my emotional reactivity and responsibly take ‘time outs’ to cool down and protect myself.  I can speak words of comfort and reassurance to my younger self and remember that I am safe now and no longer have to use older more dangerous methods of defense.  I can listen to what I need and want and express my truth in a clear, assertive manner.  While these are not always easy choices to make in the moment, I know that they ultimately foster the satisfying, meaningful connection I desire within myself and with others.   

I will remain aware of how I respond to the conflicts and challenges I face today and take responsibility for my reactions and choices.