RESPONSIBILITY

I am not responsible for other’s choices.  I wasn’t responsible then and I’m not responsible now.  The pain of watching poor choices and consequences will not invoke guilt, perhaps sadness, but not guilt.  Did I close the door of my heart to past pain because it was too much to bear?  Perhaps, and it was for my own survival.  Can I bear to care now?  It’s still painful to watch them flounder and drown.     I wish I could have made it all better and given them something to hold on to.  I was busy grasping for the lines of rescue myself; I had nothing to throw.  When my feet were finally on firm ground, it felt impossible to go back without being dragged back under. 

I release myself from the burden of guilt that is still on my shoulders.  When I hear echoes of other’s shame making me responsible for things that were never mine to bear, I will respond with ‘it’s your shame, not mine. I carried it long enough.  No more.’  Today I will listen to healthier voices giving me permission to breathe and be.  These are the voices I choose to believe today.